Never Expected Love Read online

  I reach into my suit jacket and pull out an envelope handing it to Beckett. He's going to flip when he reads it. "Congratulations on your graduation, Beckett."

  "Thank you, Richard." Opening the envelope he pulls out a letter from my lawyer's office, he looks at it and then looks at me.

  "Read it." As he reads it, I can see Beckett's eyes starting to fill with tears, this time they do fall. Looking up at me, I can tell he is speechless, so I slap him on the back and say, "It's time to celebrate!"

  One night, when Beckett and I are working late at the new office, I ask him about his childhood sweetheart, the girl that was still in Seattle that he was planning to find again, Harlow girl he calls her. "Why do you call her Harlow girl? Have you been in touch with her at all since you moved away? You are always talking about her," I ask, talking around a mouthful of cheesy, hot pizza. I think out of all foods, pizza is my weakness. I love how the aroma fills the office as much as I love the taste.

  Beckett's face lights up as he remembers the story. "I was only four when I first met Harlow. I had no social skills whatsoever, and at first, I didn't know what her name was. Again, I wasn't a very social child, so I called her girl. Hey, girl this or hey girl that, after a couple weeks of me calling her that, she finally came up to me and said 'my name is Harlow, not girl.' I kept the name and just called her Harlow girl, it stuck, and no," he said, his head falling. "Things were so bad back then. My mother always seemed to have one foot over the crazy line."

  "I've Googled her, but there's nothing on her, nothing. It is as if she didn't exist. I haven't gone a day without thinking of her, wondering what she's doing, if she fulfilled her dreams. She was always there for me, Richard. She was the only reason I survived." I watched him as he subconsciously rubbed his thumb and forefinger over the medallion of his bracelet. "It was the memory of her and thinking that one day we would be together that kept me going," he tells me. "Now I guess I feel like it is too late. I haven't had contact with her in so many years that I'm sure she thinks I walked away from her, and she's probably really pissed off and wouldn't talk to me even if I could find her."

  "Don't you owe it to yourself, hell to her to try and find her? Explain what happened. From what you've told me about her, she isn't the type of person that holds grudges. I think you should look for her. Have you even allowed yourself to have a girlfriend?" I ask.

  Still rubbing the medallion, "No, I couldn't even think about a girl when I was living at home, I just stayed locked in my room, and on those occasions that I had to be around my mother she degraded me so badly, calling me names that I guess I started to believe her. Once I started Krav Maga and I could see my body change, it helped, it made me physically strong, but it took time to rebuild the self-esteem. Then, when I went to college, I focused all my attention on my studies and of course here. I think deep down inside I always thought about Harlow, and I felt like I would be cheating on her if I ever did go out with someone. God, so much time has passed, I'm sure she has her own life and this is just a pipe dream," he says, discouraged.

  "Is that the bracelet she gave you?"

  "Yes, the night before I moved. She has the other half."

  "Beckett, if she is that important to you, which I can see she is, don't let it go, fight for what you want, damn it! I've put my life on hold building this business. I've shown you every aspect of my life, taught you how the business runs and how to keep it successful. What I don't want you to learn from me is being too busy to learn to love. What good is a successful business if you don't have someone special to share it with? After my parents had died, I put all my focus and energy into the business and I've missed out on so much. I don't want you to regret missing out on love like I have, and if you have problems finding her, I have a private investigator friend that could help you."

  "God, Richard, you act like your life is over, you still have plenty of time to find love, to find that someone special, and I understand what you're talking about. I'll start to look for her. What is the worst thing she can do? Tell me no and get lost? I just can't imagine her doing that, she wasn't ever that kind of a person," he says. "And if I can do it, you can do it too."

  "Okay, I get it. However, what I don't want for you is to wait and miss out on all the years of happiness you could have had. I don't want you to look back with more regret than you are now," I say, "and I'll try, now that you're here to help and the business is growing, I guess I can go out every once and a while. I'm kind of set in my ways. I don't know that I'll be able to find anyone that could put up with me," I chuckle.

  The next morning, Beckett calls me for Paul's number. Paul is a private investigator friend of mine. I'm sure he would be able to find her.

  Beckett walks into my office and slouches down in the chair across from my desk. I look up from my computer and laugh at him. I don't ever think I have seen him this anxious. "What has you so unnerved?"

  "Paul just called, and I gave him all the information that I had on Harlow and her family, he thought he would have something by the end of the day. I'm just nervous about what he will find out. I know he has other means of finding out information on people, but I find it strange that I couldn't pull up anything on her. Nothing from high school or college. It worries me. It's as if she dropped off the face of the earth. He seemed to think it was no big deal, and if he does find her, then what? It's been so long, it's hard to wait. I know, what's a few more hours or days after all these years, right?" he says. "But, I'm just anxious, I can't sit still."

  "Why don't you go to the gym, work off the excess energy, and get back here for the interviews for the receptionist position. We start interviewing after lunch."

  "Oh, Shit! I forgot all about the interviews. Okay, and I'll pick up lunch on the way back," he says.

  A little while later Beckett walks into my office with a smile on his face handing me my sandwich. "Well, from the smile on your face, Paul must have called you. Either that or you had one hell of a workout." Beckett places the box of disheveled cupcakes, their frosting was askew, on my desk. I look down at them and then up at Beckett. It looks as if he scrounged them out of the garbage.

  "Nope and yes, but that's not the reason I am smiling." He puts the last bit of his sandwich in his mouth as I hear the door open. "I'll bring her back to the conference room," he says.

  Beckett introduces me to Raven as he hands me a copy of her resume, asking her to take a seat. "Would you like some water, coffee, or tea?"

  "Thank you, but no thanks," she answers back.

  We concluded the interview with Raven, and Beckett shows her out. He comes back with our other applicant.

  "Richard, this is Stacey. Stacey, this is Richard, the owner of Stonework's." Beckett and I ask Stacey different questions and she interviews very well, and she had a lot of experience, but I didn't feel comfortable with her. Beckett walks her out after we had concluded the interview. He walks back into the conference room and sits back down as we discuss the now departed applicants. We both really liked Raven. She didn't have a lot of experience, she just graduated college, but since we didn't either, it might work out well to have all of us learn together. She has an energetic personality and appears to be very positive. Stacey, on the other hand, there was something about her that felt fake. Although she had more experience, I just had a weird vibe about her. Beckett told me she touched him too intimately and I chuckle. I pick up her resume, wad it into a ball, and toss it into the garbage can, making a two-point shot.

  "Well, Raven it is," Beckett says. "I'll check her references and discuss her employment afterward.

  "So," I say, "shall we finish our discussion we started before the interview?"

  "Sure, what do you want to know?" Beckett asks as if he didn't know what I am talking about, "But first I am going to get a cupcake and a cup of coffee, you want some?"

  "You mean the ones that look like you pulled them out of the garbage?"

  "Yep, those would be the ones,"

  "Okay, as long
as they didn't come from the garbage, I'll take one and a cup of coffee, please."

  "Well, they did kind of come from the garbage, but not the way you're thinking, I'll get you one anyway," he says laughing.

  Beckett returns to the conference room with plates and cups of coffee on a tray.

  "Here you go," he says as he sets the tray on the table.

  I look at him with questioning eyes as I pick up my cupcake pulling the paper from it. The frosting of the cupcake is disheveled, but there're sprinkles that you can still see in the frosting. I break off a piece of cupcake and place it in my mouth. A moan escapes my lips, my eyes shoot to Beckett's. "Malt chocolate with a malt chocolate frosting," I say.

  These are great, but I know Beckett said that he has never found chocolate malt cupcakes before. "The actual name according to the bakery is 'Beckett's Favorite Malt Chocolate Cupcakes.'"

  "What the hell?" I say with a surprised tone.

  "Well, this is how my day went. After going to the gym and working my ass off, I thought I would give the new deli a try. The place was packed, and by the time they called my number I had the chance to look at the display case. I first saw the lemon cupcakes that were decorated just as she had always made them but didn't think anything about them. As I continued to glance at the case I saw the chocolate malt, then I saw the name of them, that's when I knew. I ordered more than what they had in the bakery case because I wanted to see if she was the one that would bring them out. When she came through the door and her eyes found mine, all the blood drained from her face. I knew she was going down, so I jumped the counter and caught her before she hit the floor. When she came to, there were tears in her eyes, but then it was as if realization set in and her eyes turned dark and anger set in. She stood up, taking the container of cupcakes and dropped them in the garbage. It was at that time I realized what time it was so I dropped my cash down on the counter grabbed the sandwiches and cupcakes and ran out of the shop."

  "You mean you didn't talk to her after that? You just left?"

  "What was I supposed to do? I had fifteen minutes to get back here before we had the interview, I wasn't going to flake on that," he says. "And she was so mad."

  "Listen, Beckett, obviously there is still something there or she wouldn't have named a cupcake after you, that is unless they tasted like shit, and this definitely doesn't." I stick the rest of my cupcake into my mouth, then finish talking around a mouthful of chocolate, "You need to go back there and talk to her. If she is anything like how you explained her to me, then she will listen. But you have to give her a chance first."

  "You really think that will work?" he asks, "I've only seen her that mad two or three times before."

  "Just go, take the rest of the day off."

  A smile broke across Beckett's face as he contemplated seeing her again. "You’re right, Richard. The least I can do is try, and I'll sit there the rest of the day until she'll talk to me. Thanks, Richard," he says as he grabs the tray taking it back to the kitchen.

  I sit back in my chair hoping that everything works out okay for Becket, and I hope that Harlow will see that it wasn't his fault.

  The next morning Beckett walks into the office in a daze but with a smile on his face. I am standing there with a cup of coffee for him and a look of 'what happened?' We walk to my office and he enlightens me on the night.

  "Are you up for going out with us tonight and meeting Harlow's aunt?"

  "Yeah, you know me, I never have any plans."

  "Good, I figured we would leave from here and pick up the girls after work."

  "Sounds good, what do you know about Nicole?"

  "Just that she moved down here after college and has been here since. Harlow moved in with her after the incident with the old boyfriend a few years ago. Her parent's thought that it was a good way to get her off the grid and out of the state so Brad, the ex, couldn't find her."

  "Her ex? What happened?"

  Beckett informs me about Harlow's ex-boyfriend, and I suggest he call Mitchell since he owns a security business.

  Mitchell had been in the Marines and whenever he was home on leave, he was always in the gym. In the years that I have known him, he never talked about his time 'in country.' He volunteered for his first three tours to Iraq and then to Afghanistan. When I had met him, he was stationed at Leatherneck in Afghanistan. I don't know what he saw or what happened over there, but every time he came home, he was a different person. Beckett had heard some of the guys at the gym talking about his unit and that they were in a convoy that was ambushed and they had to fight their way out. Mitchell's best friend Michaels had been hit, he was pretty bad, Davis, another colleague, was with him and was radioing for help. Mitchell picked Michaels up and carried him to a safe location until the Medivac could land and get Michaels out of there, but the rest of the unit had to wait twenty-six hours for the QRF unit (Quick Reaction Force). It wasn't until they returned to the base that anyone recognized that Mitchell had been hit by shrapnel. No one noticed because they thought it was his Michael's blood and his adrenaline was so strong he didn't realize it either. The shrapnel had grazed his liver causing pain, which made it hard for him to breath, he hadn't noticed because he thought he was winded from carrying his friend. He collapsed when he got out of the MRAP, Mine-Resistant Ambush Protected vehicle. He was medically discharged. When he came home, he started his security company and started working out at the gym again.

  I know that Beckett confided in Mitchell about his school life and that if it hadn't been for Mitchell fast tracking him by working with him before he was deployed again he wouldn't be as proficient as he is in Krav.

  We've received the background check and have checked out all of Raven's references. Beckett places a call to her with our offer. She accepted it and will be starting on Monday.

  Later that afternoon I walk by Beckett's office as he is talking to someone on the phone. I hand signal if I can come in. He waves me in and I take a seat. He places the call on speaker so I can hear what he's listening to.

  "You are such a goddamn child, always blaming me for your problems growing up. When are you going to grow up and accept responsibility for your own life?" I can tell that Beckett is restraining himself and doing a great job at it. I don't think I could be that calm if I was being talked to like that. He closes his eyes and takes another deep breath.

  "What do you want, Mother?" he asks gruffly.

  "You need to send me some money. It's the least you can do," she commands.

  "And why do I owe you money?" he questions. He looks up at me and shakes his head.

  "Well for everything I bought you growing u, of course," she interjects.

  "Wow, that's very interesting. How about we do this… I'll add up the two pairs of pants, two t-shirts, one coat, one pair of shoes, six pairs of underwear and socks you bought me for the eleven years I was in school for, then I'll subtract out my computer, phone, TV, and books of mine you got rid of. I believe you still owe me, but I'll overlook it and call us even, how does that sound?"

  "You are such a spoiled rotten son, I can't believe you would treat your own flesh and blood this way," she sobs.

  "You know Cheryl, you can write me off, lose my number, and don't call me again. That way you don't have to think about what a horrible son you have after you did such great job of raising me, and maybe you will get a mother of the year award!" With that, Beckett hangs up the phone. He pinches the bridge of his nose to stave off the headache he is probably getting.

  I'm sitting in a chair on the other side of Beckett with, my elbows resting on the desk, my hands clasped together, and my index fingers steepled resting on my lips. I pull them back and say, "I have to hand it to you, Beckett, you handled that better than I probably would have. I am proud of you. It takes a big man not to sink to her level and blast her."

  He looks up at me warily. "Not like it will make a bit of difference. I'm hoping she doesn't call me again, but I'm not holding my breath."

  "
I'll tell Raven on Monday to screen your calls to make sure she can't get to you, and if she continues, I'll have the calls routed to me. That might make my day because unlike you, I'm not a big man and she's really pissed me off for how she neglected and abused you over the years. I really have no idea how you turned out the way you did after being around her for seventeen years let alone one day," I chuckle and raise my eyebrows in a fun gesture. "I don't want this call to ruin your day. Remember, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent! Think about Harlow and how she makes you feel." I stand up and start to walk to the door.

  "You're right, Richard. I don't know why I let her affect me so much. I think deep down, I'm still that little boy that is always looking for her approval and love, and I think for what it's worth, I'm still afraid of her."

  I turn and look at him as I place my hands on the doorframe. "You probably are, but as long as you stand up to her the way you did today, you will show her that you won't back down anymore."

  "Thanks, Richard! I don't know what I would do without your help." Beckett stands and walks over to me to give me a hug.

  After work, Beckett and I drive to Nicole's home to pick her and Harlow up. I'm a little apprehensive since I know this is a blind date even though Beckett told me it wasn't, but still, I'm out of my comfort zone. After making the introductions, I move to the back seat letting Nicole enter first as I help her inside. I place my hand on the small of her back and my body has a strange reaction, something I've never experienced before. I play it off as just the excitement of the evening since I seldom ever go out. Beckett leans over kissing Harlow's cheek as he helps her into the Jeep. I am so happy for him. Hell, he deserves some happiness for once.

  As Beckett drives downtown Portland to the River Place, there's very little talking. I'm hoping that everyone will relax a little once we get to the restaurant and we can sit and get to know each other. I steal little glimpses of Nicole as she sits quietly next to me. She is really quite lovely, with almost classic features. High cheekbones, small nose slightly turned up at the end, and her lips are perfect, pouty, and full. She swipes her tongue across her lower lip and my fucking dick twitches. Holy hell. I continue with my quick glances at her because I just can't take my eyes off her. She turns her head and catches me mid-glance, she smiles a shy smile at me, and I look away knowing I was just caught and smile at the thought.